It is a happy Monday indeed!
My little boy is three years old today! I am celebrating with him all day, doing all of the fun things he likes to do and eating all of the foods he likes to eat. Thankfully since he is still little and easy to please, he is having an amazing birthday. His excitement for everything is super contagious, and this is why being his mama is awesome.
Sometimes it still boggles my mind that I am a mother, and that I have two kids now! Not because I didn't think motherhood wouldn't work out for me or because it wasn't in my original life plan, but time has just flown by…watching my kids grow up makes me feel old and I don't feel old at all! I've always known that I wanted to have children, and because I had children when it was the right time for me, I have no regrets about it. But…parenthood is hard. The struggle is real! I know that's totally cliche, but should something be a cliche when it's actually a fact of life? Parenthood is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and everyone seems to have a different opinion about it (including myself). I have friends with kids that mention every now and then that they can't imagine life without their children, or that they didn't know what life was until their littles came into the world. I'm going to honest, I can't really relate to those sentiments because I totally remember how my life was kid-free, and I CAN imagine what my life would be like without them. That sounds horrible, but I can explain.
The few years when it was just my husband and I, we were living it up as two full-time college students and part-time job holders. For the most part we managed our time well to where we didn't always work crazy hours, every night was basically date night since we were together almost every night, and we were financially comfortable. We would go on vacations, spontaneous weekend trips, and try new local restaurants with such ease. We both had time for our own hobbies, and lived pretty well-rounded lives. I love having that time with my hubby as just the two of us, even when it wasn't always easy (sometimes it was hard in its own ways). With kids added into our mix, it has added a few steps of complication to all of those things. I'm not saying we don't or can't do those things anymore because of kids. Now it takes a bit more planning, money, energy, and forethought...whereas before we wouldn't have to worry about babysitters, how many toys to pack, and/or future college savings. With how much we spend just on diapers alone we could visit any exotic place in the world (or buy me some really amazing shoes)!
So yeah, I'd say that I remember life without kids and I can imagine what life would be like…especially on those nights when my little girl decides to not sleep through the night and on days where my now three year old pushes all of my buttons and throws epic terrible two tantrums (which I'm told don't magically disappear by age three and that they get worse…what?!). BUT! I love my children. SO MUCH. I would never not have them in my life. Just like all of the other parents I personally know would say the same thing about their kids. And maybe the phrase "can't imagine life without them" is how they express that their children are irreplaceable and worth all of the sacrifices they have made. Whether having babies in the first place was a cake walk or a refiner's fire through Hell and back, I think it's safe to say that all parents struggle with parenthood every now and then and can remember their life as it was before kids. And those I know personally never quit on their children no matter how rough it is. Because regardless of how tough it may be, there are moments that parenting wins and successes are made of and they are worth everything…and my daydreams of vacations and designer shoes can't even begin to compete with that.
xo, Sara
Labels: holiday, kids, motherhood
